[poetry] I can’t write anymore

I can’t write anymore
there is too much pain to even put words together on a sentence
all my words escape and become pain all my words escape
and become the fuel of my darkness I can’t breathe on this place
the air has become ripen with dead fruit and I can’t breathe
even when the angels sing in my ears I still can’t breathe
all the promises I made to myself fall apart so easily
fall apart like the house of cards that I am
I am a little tormented broken idiot
and you always knew that and now your face
is not your face anymore it’s just a shadow
and that last last last trip the noise of the subway remember

dammit I can’t write anymore
but remember? the noise of the subway
why couldn’t I say anything why couldn’t I
but what would I say when there was nothing to salvage there
it was a hole on the world a hole on the sky
and even the stars cried when I set foot on the station
because now it’s over what has never begun
slowly I fall without falling because even places to fall
I have lost them slowly I swim without swimming
I am dry of words all those words I used to swim in!

I can’t write anymore
And I really wanted to write about you