[poetry] wrong love

I rewrote this around ten times but here it is. I hope you enjoy it.

honey, you were bitter

sweetness lost on brown eyes
always lowered, never facing me
as if turning away to a light
brighter than I could ever be

i tried to erase this amoral love
cleanse it of the face of the earth
you – a rose that only lasted an hour
the scent you left was strangely sour

on these lonely beaches of the south
haunted by memories of a better day
by things i didn’t or couldn’t say
and just your face brings me to tears
even though you aren’t near

how can i stop speaking lies?
if i tell you the truth
you will hate me for the rest of our lives

so my love can only exist here
between these crooked lines
far from your bitter brown eyes
far from the world where you reside

because it’s wrong, honey
– a wrong love

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[poetry] dream

a dream becomes a nightmare
when you wake up and realize
it wasn’t real

**

the fire burns
the glass
drops of acid fall
on my eyelash

I see you through
a dirty mirror contemplating
my fate
the unending days the unending nights
the shadows the lights
what faith?

I lost myself
on an attempted redemption
or a tender temptation
abandoned on stone gardens
between the corpses of my dreams
I see your face, angel

I will bring this dream
to reality
create and recreate it
birth it out of my mind

with all the silent cruelty
captured on your smile

**

a dream is
the small madness that resides in the dark

[poetry] I can’t write anymore

I can’t write anymore
there is too much pain to even put words together on a sentence
all my words escape and become pain all my words escape
and become the fuel of my darkness I can’t breathe on this place
the air has become ripen with dead fruit and I can’t breathe
even when the angels sing in my ears I still can’t breathe
all the promises I made to myself fall apart so easily
fall apart like the house of cards that I am
I am a little tormented broken idiot
and you always knew that and now your face
is not your face anymore it’s just a shadow
and that last last last trip the noise of the subway remember

dammit I can’t write anymore
but remember? the noise of the subway
why couldn’t I say anything why couldn’t I
but what would I say when there was nothing to salvage there
it was a hole on the world a hole on the sky
and even the stars cried when I set foot on the station
because now it’s over what has never begun
slowly I fall without falling because even places to fall
I have lost them slowly I swim without swimming
I am dry of words all those words I used to swim in!

I can’t write anymore
And I really wanted to write about you